Hello nice to meet you. I'm a jerk.

Today, I was introduced to someone as a graphic designer. Then the person I was introduced to said, "I figured he was, because of his shirt." Is it so bad? It's just a greenish shirt with a lemur on it that says "Mom says I'm special." Maybe it's the color combo that is reminiscent of Three's Company.

You are not a turtle and neither is your neck.

Where I work, it seems that cold weather=dress like a mid 1980's jerk. I mean, they still sell warm clothes for middle-aged women these days, don't they? I swear if I see one more turtleneck I'm gonna go crazy. And by go crazy, I mean just look at the floor and scream and call the person a stupid idiot, internally of course. I'm really impressed by just how insanely cruel this woman's jacket is, and how she positioned her (barely legible) nametag around her lapel. I hope she doesn't read this and kill me with those huge scissors. I'm sorry, Sh-Sha... I can't read it.

Don't be a dodo.

Eagle...

Today, I'm wearing my majestic, eagle western shirt. Don't hate, or you may get a talon in the eye. I'm a dork.

Napa delivery vehicles can suck it.

I really hate these cars... and the trucks. I mean seriously, who puts a giant hat on a car? Uh, hello, you just look stupid...

Homage to Perkins

Weird.