Abandoned House in the Woods

A few years ago, I was walking through the woods, searching for morel mushrooms. These are the kind of mushrooms that kinda look like a small, brown tree made out of a sponge. I walked and walked until I came to an abandoned house.

The house itself was in a drastic state of disrepair, but I cautiously entered through the back porch. As I looked around, I realized that the house had not been touched in over 40 years, assuming to the 1968 calendar in one of the bedrooms was current at the time of abandonment. There was really nothing of value in the house, but the artifacts were incredible.

There were boxes of clothes-mending materials, magazines, books, and newspapers laid on the dining room table, and the air smelled of musty carpet as a broken window brought in the elements. Clothes were still in closets and dishes were still in the sink.

As I looked around in the kitchen, my eyes fell to a chalkboard near the back door.

I didn't want to enter the kitchen, as it was a mess, and I was afraid the floor might give way, so I squinted and leaned through the doorway to read what it said. Sounding out the words, I came up with "Wait Right (here) Be Back." 

Chills ran down my arms, and I felt as though the secret eyes of the house just opened to see its intruder. Slowly, I walked backwards, but quickly made my way out the back. I'll never forget the way I felt when I read those words. The warm, inviting empty house full of artifacts became cold and I needed to get out of there before I was closed up in a time envelope.

Hiking Viking

Does this man live in Independence?

Let's go down the checklist:

• Talking on the phone? Check.

• Shirt off? Check.

• Gold chain? Check.

• Visible underwear? Check.

• LOWER-BACK TATTOO? Check.

• Walking ridiculous dog in 98 degree heat? Check.

• Jersey for a shirt? Check.

• Flip-flops? Check.

• Armband tattoo? Check.

• Hanging around an Elementary School? Check.

Yes, this man lives in Independence.

Is There Room in Your Soul?

I found these pics on my phone. I took them last fall through the cracked windshield of my old car, but never posted them. Just a random sight in Independence. 

Brace Yourself

Does this man live in Independence?

• Tank top: check
• Knee brace: check
• Giant drink in hand: check
• Du-rag: check
• Muscles: check
• Backpack: check
• Smoking: No, but ponytail is of equal value: check

Yes. This man lives in Independence.

We need a room for this.

I win this time, boring hallway.

I Feel Pretty... Good. Pretty Good.

Two nights ago, I played a kickball game in my AAF-KC league. It's a bunch of ad agencies and such who play kickball together in a league. Anyhoo, I've been rather down about my performance this year, but Wednesday night, I made up for it. I kicked a homerun and had 5 RBIs on the night. We won 8-3 and advanced to the semi-finals. I'm still riding my high, and my body is creaking along, reminding me that I'm not 23 anymore. That was 10 years ago. I'm getting old, and it feels great.

Also, I freakin' booted that sucker.

Gettin' His Swerve On.

Today, on the way back from lunch, a guy on a moped pulled a U-turn into oncoming traffic. He was swerving and nearly ran off the road as I approached his slow bike.

The man then swerved into the left lane, and as I passed, I glanced at him to find his face and hands covered in blood. He resembled a scraggly John Oates with some grunge band hair.

We reached a stoplight, and I soon got excited as I felt an opportunity to take pics. For a split-second, the man was standing there on the moped, but quickly leaned over and fell in front of my car. 

I looked over, and his legs and feet were covered in blood too. I yelled to him "Are you okay?" "Nooooooo-ow! Ow!," he replied. "Do you want me to call and ambulance?" "No, don't worry about it. Ow. Oh noooo..." I called 9-1-1. An off-duty police officer pulled up and started assessing the 'sitch. Then another off-duty officer, and an on-duty officer, a fire truck, and an ambulance until my car was completely surrounded by emergency vehicles.

A cop walked over and said "I could probably pull my car back and let you back out... Independence, man..." I looked over, and he was shaking his head, so I shot him a chummy grin as I knew exactly what he meant. "I have to carry around a camera to take photos of this kind of thing, or no one will believe me," I said. "Did you get any good ones?" asked the cop as he was kinda giggling at the mess in front of us. 

Thanks Independence.