You are not a turtle and neither is your neck.

Where I work, it seems that cold weather=dress like a mid 1980's jerk. I mean, they still sell warm clothes for middle-aged women these days, don't they? I swear if I see one more turtleneck I'm gonna go crazy. And by go crazy, I mean just look at the floor and scream and call the person a stupid idiot, internally of course. I'm really impressed by just how insanely cruel this woman's jacket is, and how she positioned her (barely legible) nametag around her lapel. I hope she doesn't read this and kill me with those huge scissors. I'm sorry, Sh-Sha... I can't read it.