These are my parents in 1979. They won some kind of contest from Q104 (when it was a rock station). I believe they gave my parents a commemorative coin to mark the event. My dad is on the left, and my mom is on the right. It’s apparent that the presence of John Oates has overtaken my mother as she is cowering from his man-glow. The best part of this story, is that at this exact moment, I’m being formed in her womb. I’m hearing the soultry voices of H&O as they speak in perfect harmony. My mother’s immaculate conception basically comes down to this moment and answers the questions why I’m so hairy and why I wave so strangely. Note John Oates’ Royals shirt. Classy. All the way.
I have many questions about this photo: Why was that radio DJ such a hippy? I mean, wasn’t that stuff over? Why does my dad look like George Harrison? Is Daryl Hall bored? Why does my mom look asian?
Hmmm... what was this truck missing to take it from boring to AWESOME? Yep, a window mural of white horses frolicking on a cloudy magical day. Or maybe the driver has 3 tiny white horses in the bed of his truck?
This car is tragic. It's a Ford Taurus that's been chopped up to look like an El Camino. With sweet Anti-Abortion body graffix, matchy rimz, sports bra on the front, and a righteous spoiler (pun), this Abortion-mobile has been totally... What's the opposite of "pimped?" Wow. Thanks Independence.
This is a picture of my wife Megan, as we were pricing various secret shelters to escape a zombie attack. Apparently Costco has a nice underground location just in front of their store, hidden behind some shrubs. Zombies hate shrubs. Plus the shelter is stocked with Kirkland trail mix and various Kirkland sports drinks. Bonus. We signed up.
This weekend I'm going to Milwaukee. I can't wait! I'm going to see the Milwaukee Bucks play the Cleveland Cavaliers. Shaq's out with a broken finger, but it'll be great. My tickets are in the 3rd row at center court!
I also booked a really neat hotel room at the Aloft hotel. It'll be a nice getaway.
What does this say about the driver? Are they nuts? What would make someone think, "You know what would complete the customization of my Honda Fit? A squirrel decal. Yeah..." Weird. Thanks Independence.
It really irks me when a server comes to my table and they start off by saying, "Hi my name is (usually some stupid name like Hannabelle or Kiffani), and I'll be taking care of you tonight..."
I don't really get that. Taking care of me? Are they gonna pay for my food? Will they chauffeur me around and drop me off at home safely after dinner? Will they tackle a crazed gunman in the restaurant to ensure we have a great experience? I don't think so. How about you just refill my drink every now and then and check back often and leave me my check, hmmm?
From now on, when I hear that phrase, I'll deduct a bit of my tip because I hate that line so much. And until my server steps in front of a bullet to save my life, they won't be taking care of me.
Dude... If you're gonna play the air-drums at Best Buy, don't wear a shirt that's so tight that you rip it, doing your best Animal impersonation. Seriously... he was blaring Van Halen as loud as he could and going ca-razee! Thanks Independence.