Merry Christmas!!!

I'm stuffed with turkey, ham and Christmas cheer. Merry Christmas!

Santa punch.

Are you one of them? You know, the one person in a group photo at Christmastime who wears a santa hat. Why? You're not santa. You don't look like santa, you don't say ho like santa and you don't give presents like santa. So please don't partially dress like santa because you look like an idiot. If you're gonna dress like santa go all out and grow a beard, buy some dwarves and bareback a reindeer to your grandma's house. Don't wear a Van Heusen shirt, khakis and a Seiko and accent the getup with a santa hat to add a little flavor to the holidays 'cause you just look like a dick.

Hey, let's spread out and get in random photos. DB's Ho! Break!

Squirrel

Here's an illustration I did for a reading club at the library.

College art friends.

Here is another piece I've found while preparing to move. It's by Matt "Loo" Ruzich. Good stuff.

I'll post more pieces by other friends later.

Far out art.

In the process of moving, I keep coming across old stuff from college. I was looking through one of my sketchbooks and found this gem. It's from my buddy Boone and it's really mind-blowing. I'm glad that I still have it.

Have a mice day.

This weekend I was sitting at home designing the Kansas Speedway tickets, when all of a sudden I heard something snap. It was my mouse trap; except I didn't kill the little guy. I just trapped his leg. I put the whole thing in a paper bag and took it outside because I didn't know what to do with my little varmint. I picked up a skinny board and after a couple of practice tries, hit the bag. Ewwww!!! It's just so gross. Except, I didn't kill the little guy. I actually freed him and he jumped out of the bag and raced across my front yard into the night. If he could cook like Ratatoule, I'd keep him around.

Meth Lab for QT

Today I went to QT, or Quiktrip to get some liquid gold for my car. I went inside to get some hot chocolate and as I was walking up to the counter I saw this skinny, witch-looking methed-out lady hunched over and looking side-to-side very quickly. I realized that she was hunting down a child (possibly to eat). She then yelled, "I ain't playin' nunyer games duh-day!" in a very gravely voice. Apparently this demon-child had gotten the best of the witchy woman. Then as I was taking a step toward the counter, this little boy in head to toe camouflage barrels around the corner and cuts me off. "I gotchyuhs!" yelled the woman. Then she said "D'ya want me ta spinke yeh in public?" and then exited the premises. I stood there like I just smelled spoiled milk and then asked out loud, "When did kids get that option? To spank in public or not to spank in public... that is your option. I don't think many kids would like either one of them. Just do it lady, you know you want to." I got some giggles from the others in line and slid outta there.

Then, as I was walking through the parking lot to go back into work, a little old lady co-worker drives in front of me, and stops at our mid-lot stop sign. I simply passed behind her car, but as if she didn't see me, put her car in reverse and almost runs me over. I have no idea what she was doing. Obviously she has something against me.

T-T-T-Today Junior!

Why is it that whenever an actor is on a talk show like The Tonight Show they always stutter real bad? Is stuttering the new way to look like you're a real deep thinker? I always thought it was a speech impediment. C'mon Tom Cruise, spit it out! Maybe they really do have stuttering problems...

I get it, but I don't really get it.

You know how people tie a string around their finger to remember things? How do they do it? Don't they need their finger to help tie it to itself? What if they don't remember what they were supposed to remember. I mean, a string tied around a finger doesn't really help you what to remember, it just reminds you to remember something. Plus, how long do you keep it there? Won't it cut off circulation to your finger if left on there too long? How bad is your memory that you can't remember something for like an hour?

I'm glad that people don't do that anymore.

Mountain Dew... not show me that!

Two days ago I walked out of a QT, or Quiktrip after purchasing a delicious bubbling RedBull energy drink. On my way to my car there was a man standing in between his car and mine, doing something through the unrolled passenger-side window. As I came closer I observed this man taking a big serenge and sucking Mountain Dew from a freshly filled 85 oz. (just a guess) cup and then squirting it into the man in the passenger seat's feeding tube in his midsection.

What?!

Does this guy need Mountain Dew that bad? Was he a robot that was powered by the Dew? I'd rather not see that.

There's no place like home.

For the past few days, I've been visiting Chicago, Illinois. Valentine's Day, my birthday, and some other days went by while I was visiting. I saw the Chicago Bulls play the Miami Heat (without Shaq), went to see the musical Wicked, saw beluga whales at the aquarium, and saw the band Super Furry Animals in Wrigleyville at Metro. It was a good time. I stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel on Michigan Ave., and froze myself almost every day. Stopping in at coffee shops helped keep me warm on the inside, and a (fake) black full length fur coat, gloves, a scarf and earwraps kept my outside warm.

I turned 28 in Chicago. It really made me kind of sad. It was a cold, snowy day... cold, snowy day indeed.