Meth Lab for QT

Today I went to QT, or Quiktrip to get some liquid gold for my car. I went inside to get some hot chocolate and as I was walking up to the counter I saw this skinny, witch-looking methed-out lady hunched over and looking side-to-side very quickly. I realized that she was hunting down a child (possibly to eat). She then yelled, "I ain't playin' nunyer games duh-day!" in a very gravely voice. Apparently this demon-child had gotten the best of the witchy woman. Then as I was taking a step toward the counter, this little boy in head to toe camouflage barrels around the corner and cuts me off. "I gotchyuhs!" yelled the woman. Then she said "D'ya want me ta spinke yeh in public?" and then exited the premises. I stood there like I just smelled spoiled milk and then asked out loud, "When did kids get that option? To spank in public or not to spank in public... that is your option. I don't think many kids would like either one of them. Just do it lady, you know you want to." I got some giggles from the others in line and slid outta there.

Then, as I was walking through the parking lot to go back into work, a little old lady co-worker drives in front of me, and stops at our mid-lot stop sign. I simply passed behind her car, but as if she didn't see me, put her car in reverse and almost runs me over. I have no idea what she was doing. Obviously she has something against me.